Feb
6
What do you think of a couple who were married a little less than six months after each other’s spouses died?
February 6th, 2009 posted by
admin
Actually both their spouses died 11 days apart. Her new husband worked for a chemical company. Yes, I notified the police. She’s a high ranking Elks official. She’s my mother. It has been almost two years & I am still appalled. I also think it is terribly disrespectful for the deceased (like Tammy Faye Baker). I don’t speak to my mother & I don’t know my new stepfather. I couldn’t believe my mother would do that. I expected her to enjoy herself & be single awhile. She’s rich too. Her previous relationships were nothing short of horrible. Both abusive alcoholics. I still see her in the Elks newsletter online…
wilsonweb.com
Lissa says:
February 8th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
i think thats wrong. morally wrong.
atomicrunner110 says:
February 10th, 2009 at 12:53 am
It sounds really fishy to me. I would have called the police too. Stay out of it incase something happens to you
suedetteuk says:
February 12th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
well they would have got together through grief, that would have brought them closer. Its her life, leave her to it, at least you called the police.
To Racer: she notified the police because the guy works with chemicals, and as both of their spouses died close together, it is a bit coincidental don’t you think?
cla says:
February 15th, 2009 at 1:50 am
Too soon I guess.
Racer says:
February 16th, 2009 at 4:05 am
Notified the police about what?? Because she married another man 11 days after her husband died?? What would the police do about this??? There’s no law against what she did…….
free_angel says:
February 18th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
They got on with their lives which is what they’re suppose to do.
JW says:
February 21st, 2009 at 9:23 am
Sounds like they both were hurting and needed companionship.
jadzia says:
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:30 am
it’s not something i could do but maybe your mother is just the type of person who is scared about being alone. maybe you should try talking to her, let her know that she’s not alone & doesn’t always need to have a man in her life.
caroline f says:
February 26th, 2009 at 10:43 am
I don’t think its wrong, its a bit strange? but that’s all, and your mum is a grown woman who can make her own choices, i think its more wrong that you don’t speak to your mum? life is to short for that and she wont be around forever, as you already no because you’ve lost your dad (or step dad) ……..you have to respect her decision weather you like it or not, just like you would expect her to do the same for you, so why she did it is anyones guess, but only she no,s and she has her reasons………..
Nancy M says:
February 26th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Your mother is a grown woman and can do whatever she wants. We all have to learn from our mistakes and don’t have to have anyone’s approval for the things that we do.
az_mommma says:
March 1st, 2009 at 9:53 am
First I think “yea!” for your mom. Marriage ends with death and she has every right to not be alone the rest of her life. Then I think how sad it is she has such a selfish child who can’t see that.
I guess if you are willing to give up all relationships and live the rest of your life alone from this point on, then you have every right to be upset that she moved on to someone else. But if you aren’t willing to be that single spinster with no one in her life… than stop your whining and selfishness!!!
I am appalled that you have chosen to not speak to her or be involved in her life because of this! What a selfish uncaring child you are. I bet she didn’t bet on losing her husband and her daughter did she? Oh well, you are an adult and so is she.
So I wish your mother the very best in her life with her new husband. She deserves to live, to be happy, and to not be alone! When someone dies that doesn’t mean we stop living our lives because they are not here with us anymore.
PEGGY S says:
March 3rd, 2009 at 2:34 am
Your mother’s life and decisions are hers to make, that is unless you actually suspect foul play!!!
Older people don’t need as much time to learn about each other, as younger people do. We are more instinctive, and our future partner has a longer history to prove the kind of person they are. It is more of a companionship relationship than a marriage. Maybe they will be there to console each other for their loses. Be happy that your mother has someone to be there for her.
Fred K says:
March 3rd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Until you have walked in your mothers shoes, don’t be judgmental. Loneliness plays a big roll in the death of a spouse, it does not matter what the relationship was when they were both alive. I think your mother deserves to be happy and if she wants to marry the first person she sees, so be it. No one says you have to like this relationship, but to show everyone that your a mature young lady, you should make an effort to visit your mother and her new husband. Just bite your tongue and smile the whole time, that will go a long way in mending your relationship with her. Good luck and I’m sorry for your loss.
Tracy M says:
March 4th, 2009 at 9:00 am
I think you should just accept that it is your mom’s life to live and not yours. She doesn’t have to do what you expected her to do…she is doing what she wants to do. This is a very silly reason for you to not talk to her…everyone is entitled to live their life as they chose and not how others want them to live it. As for the husband working for a chemical company…you called the police just because of a suspicion? It’s been two years and your mom is still alive and well. You should grow up and stop sulking.
Mrs.G-unit says:
March 6th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Both parties are consenting adults, who are not cheating and did nothing wrong, so it may be a little fast for your taste, but you don’t have the right to sit in judgement on a relationship you know nothing about, try being supportive, as long as mom is happy and healthy, I dont’ really care what she does in her spare time.
melissaw77 says:
March 8th, 2009 at 5:33 am
maybe they found comfort with each other.. Perhaps she was looking to not be lonely.
belle says:
March 11th, 2009 at 3:39 am
To answer your initial question, I think it’s quite common and although it seems surprising, I don’t presume to know how they are feeling.
So, you think their former spouses were murdered?? That’s serious. You didn’t mention what they died of.
That aside, you said you “expected” your mother to enjoy herself and be single for awhile. Maybe being single is not enjoyable for her. Maybe six months is awhile to her. Why must she meet those expectations of yours?
2Westies says:
March 13th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
I don’t think your mother has to be on your time schedule for dating and remarriage. There’s no prescribed time legally and if it were my mother I’d be happy for her that she found someone. I suppose a grieving widow would have been preferable, although you did say it was okay for her to date and enjoy herself. By the way I’d be horrified if one of my children reported me to the police because I remarried too soon for their liking.
Elt says:
March 15th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Why did you feel the need to notify the police? Unless your mother suffers from dementia or some other affliction that has made her unable to make her own decisions, then stay out of it and be happy she has found companionship!